Charles Simeon was a pastor in Cambridge, England. For over fifty years, he faithfully served the Lord in this university town and was used by God to create an environment whereby people could grow. As a result, many were thrust into ministry from his church.
A number of years ago I heard a series of lectures by Gordan McDonald on the life of Charles Simeon. As a single man at that time I was struck by Simeon’s words:
“I should hate the university above all places if I were a married man. I shall never marry. In my present state, I am quite a rich man and almost as free from care as an angel. Had I married, I would have had to resign my fellowship and with it my usefulness. I have never felt it a great sacrifice but have appreciated the opportunity to invest in men.”
While I did greatly benefit from my own longer season of singleness, I could never fully identify with Simeon’s words. However, they were helpful along with the examples of other godly single men and women who were clearly taking advantage of the practical benefits of their single status.
1 Corinthians 7 is a special chapter of Scripture. If it were the only portion of Scripture one considered in relation to marriage, we might come to some wrong conclusions. On the other hand if one ignores its contribution, they will clearly miss an important aspect of God’s thinking on this subject.
On three occasions in 1 Corinthians 7 the goodness of singleness is affirmed (1 Cor. 7:1, 8, 26). This is the balancing truth to the general principle that it is “not good” for man to be alone and thus the provision of marriage (Gen. 2:18). God, furthermore looks at the single state as one of special opportunity because one’s life can be less encumbered with the responsibility of pleasing their mate (1 Cor 7:32-34) and in this sense more available to the Lord.
A married person cannot function as if they were single. They cannot or at least should not ignore their family responsibilities in order to be available to everybody who needs to be visited or counseled. In this sense a childless single person has an advantage that a person with a family does not have. The church needs to affirm the dignity and value of singleness in their unique role in the life of the church.
The teaching of 1 Corinthians 7 is needed in order to give balance to the subject of marriage. Usually one does not need to be exhorted about the benefits of marriage. This is somewhat innate to the way God has made every person. Making the most of one’s time of singleness is the best preparation for marriage in the will of God. Even 1 Corinthians 7 is not attempting to restrain a person from marriage but rather to promote the maximum use of their singleness (1 Cor. 7:35).
While I was going through graduate school it was obvious to me that God did not desire me to pursue marriage. In my first week of graduate school in preparing to enter the ministry, my attention had been drawn to Proverbs 24:27. While I was resting in the truth that I was now in a preparatory time that allowed my singleness to be an advantage, I continuously needed to be reinforced in this conviction. The joys and privileges of marriage were obvious, and I was also being reminded that ministries often prefer their positions to be filled with married men. I had to “fight” to rest in the benefits of my present state.
I devoted one day to studying 1 Corinthians 7 in order to realize afresh the present advantage of my singleness. After a time of study I took a walk and was praying portions of this chapter to the Lord. I quoted 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 to the Lord.
But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. (1 Cor. 7:32-35)
As I was walking down Swiss Avenue in Dallas and quoting these verses, I looked up at the beautiful sky and pondered the awesome privilege of being able to enjoy undistracted devotion to the Lord who had created the universe. To be free to serve God in an undistracted way because of one’s singleness is a great gift. It is given to all for a period of time and to some for a lifetime.
After concluding the walk I returned to my dorm room and discovered a note from a young lady who I had noticed that summer. She was asking if I would be willing to take her to the airport. Her godliness and beauty had caught my eye, and I was willing! Momentarily my meditation of 1 Corinthian 7 was forgotten!
That evening I was a little restless so I got up to seek the Lord. I had been studying through Proverbs and was on chapter five of this book of wisdom. I was struck by Proverbs 5 which encourages the married man to “rejoice in the wife of his youth” (Prov. 5:18). I made no connection of this verse to the lovely girl that I took to the airport the next morning; for after that I never had any further contact with her. I did make a connection with it to my day in meditation of 1 Corinthian 7. This connection led me into a time of worshipping my Lord.
I worshipped God for His beautiful plan. He says that singleness is good and has many spiritual advantages. To affirm the goodness and advantage of singleness is not to depreciate marriage. He also says that marriage is good, and when God gives it, it is to be enjoyed to the fullness. To affirm the goodness of marriage is not to belittle the exalted state of singleness. I worshipped God that whatever His will was for me in this matter—to be single or married—it was good, acceptable and perfect (Rom.12:2).
For more information, see:
Believing God for His Best
How to Marry Contentment and Singleness
Believing God for His Best is a personal story that will walk you through the author’s journey through singleness, and toward marriage. The anecdotal style, coupled with godly wisdom, will inspire singles to trust God for His best.